A Cruise In Honor of My Dad
Carol (center) her husband Dave and mom Bea (left) and kids Brett and Elise (right), in Grand Turk.
May 22, 2012
by Carol Fiol
I am writing this blog in the middle of the night…since my mother got sick, I don’t always sleep so well. Her illness brings to mind my father and the life we shared as a family. So many things cross my mind: A memory that always makes me smile is when I think about the time I took my children to a bon-voyage party off the pier of Manhattan. It was arranged by my father, who loved a party, to celebrate my parents’ cruise to Bermuda and show us how these cruise ships were so spectacular and a site to be seen!
It was in the late 1970s, so my 3-year-old wore a Captain Stubing-style hat and white jacket, after all it was the primetime hit of the era, and my daughter donned a beautiful dress. We ate canapés and toasted the occasion with sparkling drinks. When we weren’t touring the ship, we
were dancing. My parents could hardly peel us off the ship.
From that moment on, it was my father’s dream that we take a family cruise together. But life got in our way, starting with the loss of my first husband. Then came my accelerated work schedule—as a travel agent, no less—the needs and nurturing of my children, a remarriage to my second husband, Dave, and my parents’ own considerable family responsibilities.
Incredibly, we spent the next 30 years talking about taking that cruise but never actually taking it. We’d fly down to Florida to see my parents. They’d come up to New Jersey to see us. We even took cruises, plenty of them. I’d book trips for them to take with my aunts and uncles and then take my own cruises with my immediate family or as part of my professional education.
It took dad becoming ill to shock me into focus. I knew I had to fulfill his dream—it was our dream by then—of taking a cruise together. I immediately booked a cruise on the Caribbean Princess for May of 2008 and surprised him with the tickets. Thrilled does not begin to describe his reaction. Dad told everyone he met, “Carol is taking me on a cruise!” I told him, “Dad, this is why you are going to get better.” He was smiling all the time, illness momentarily forgotten. None of us could wait.
Then, six weeks before the cruise, on March 31, my father died.
I had travel insurance and could have cancelled the cruise. But devastated as we were, mom and I decided we should go. Without a doubt, it is what dad would have wanted. So we gathered the family together, she, I, my husband and two children, now in their 30s and out of Captain Stubing hats and frilly dresses, boarded the Caribbean Princess that May, each of us stifling tears as we thought of our missing companion, the very driving force for the cruise.
His presence was with us on every deck, in every public room. No one can convince me that his spirit was not sitting alongside me in the Explorer’s Lounge as the song, “I’ll Be Seeing You,” dad’s very favorite played. He was there all right, smiling, humming along to the music, enjoying the family cruise, just like we had dreamed about for all those 30 years.
Carol is from Lake Worth, Florida and she’s enjoyed at least 14 Princess cruises!
Carol, thank you for sharing your heartfelt story with us. It’s wonderful you could fulfill your father’s dream to take a family cruise and feel his presence all around you. You’re so fortunate to have such a loving family.
Thank yu so much for printing my story about my Dad. His name was Bernie, and my Dad Bernie made us all a very lucky family. Thaks to everyone who took the time to read his story, and responded with such heartfelt warmth.
Hi Carol,
I truly enjoyed reading your story, and I must say never heard it before.
I understand your feeling of taking the cruise, because that was how we all felt when we took the Oasis cruise for our 50th anniversary with Elayne, Larry and the grandkids .
Keep in touch.
E
Carol, thanks for sharing your story, I’m so glad you did take that cruise, my dad too passed before he could take his Alaska cruise we did it and celebrated his wonderful life!
Carol, thank you for your story. My dad always wanted us to take a family cruise as well but as in your case, life had other plans. My mom died before we got to do it. My dad ended up on kidney dialysis and travel became more difficult. Finally, we said, “Let’s do it anyway.” We found a Dialysis At Seas” cruise where my dad could go on a cruise and receive dialysis. At age 86 he went. He called it his last hurrah. He had a wonderful, wonderful time! He passed away 4 months later. I am so glad we shared that last hurrah with him. I hope you find comfort in knowing that your dad was on that cruise with you as well. I wish you all much peace.
What a great story. Thank you so much for sharing it with us.
What a lovely tribute to your dad and your family. I’m so touched that you did make the trip and wrote about it’s special meaning to us!
Beautiful story. Thank you for sharing.
Such a touching story. My 4 yr old Grand daughter was thumbing thru a cruise brochure I had. She jumped up and down and said to me… ohhhhhhhhhhh… i want to be there. Your story has made me want that trip with her and her siblings that much more so. My husband just had part of a lung removed due to Cancer. So i think i need to make this more of a priority, before we loose the time. Thank you for sharing your story!
Do it while you can. Do not posstpone it to later as it may never come! Enjoy and have fun.
Carol,it was lovely to read your story and i believe your Father was around you all living the dream.
What a beautiful story. My dad also had a dream a family trip together. We were lucky enough to go on an eastern Caribbean cruise in 2008. With my Mom And Dad 4 of my siblings and their families, myself and my family we were a group of 24. What a fantastic trip. My Dad was smiling everytime I saw him. Nine months later he was diagnosed with lung cancer and he passed away 3 months after that. I have been on two cruises since and thought of my dad and our family trip many many times. I am so happy we had that time.
You’re Dad must have had a smile on his face watching over his family on their cruise.
This is a beautiful, love-filled story. Thank you for sharing. My dear, wonderful father passed away in July of 2010. In September of 2010 I was on a boat in Ireland, and my Dad’s presence greeted me and helped me with sea-sickness. Your story also inspires me, as in 2006 my Dad and I were slated to go to South America together. We ended up cancelling that trip. I plan to take that trip in his honor, and I hope to feel his presence during that trip. I know he will be happy I did go. Thanks.
Thank you for sharing. My family had a similar situation. My father in law was diagnosed with cancer in 2002, and began taking his family of 15 on trips. We took 6 cruises together, and have continued the tradition, even after losing him in 2008, his daughter in 2007, and 4 members of my family in between. I tell my husband I never want to spend New Years at home – I always want to be cruising – in honor of Grandpa Memo.
What a wonderful story, Carol.I would love to share the memories of a Caribbean cruise with our children, now grownup, & their children.LIFE IS TOO SHORT – - -nobody knows how much time they have left, and I can’t think of anything that would be more enjoyable My belief is . . .”Live each day to the fullest”.Hopefully I’ll be able to treat them to a cruise someday in the not too distant future, so I can see the priceless looks on our grand-children’s faces.
Very nice story..I took my first cruise whewn I was 24 My husband could not come whith me but he paid for my trip ..and I went whith 2 friends…I loves it and I kept going….over the years
Lise.C
A sad, but heart warming story. I really appreciate the emotions involved. In December of this year I started writing a blog about the many cruise adventures my wife and I have had. After a few weeks, and some positive reactions, I contacted Ken, a friend of 35 years to share my blog with him. He wrote that he was inspired to renew his passport and book a cruise next week. Two days later he was found in his apartment, having passed away over the weekend. Life takes strange turns. Be thankful and enjoy while you can.
Andy K. – Cruisin Susan, a cruise & travel blog http://cruisesuz.com
When we took our first cruise in 2008 is was in memory of my father… He passed away in 2006 , only a few days before his 64th birthday. About a year before he died he told us (my mom, my husband and me) that he would love to go on a familycruise in 2007 to celebrate his 65th birthday and his beautiful 35 year marriage to my mom.
) Every time i’m standing on a cruiseship seeing only water, it brings back lots of good memorys, as if he joined me on my first cruise…
One year after we lost him, we desides to go on a cruise in his memory… And yes, i’m sure his was with us all the time…
It turned me in a cruise-addict (thanks dad!
My wife and I wanted to cruise for our honeymoon, but cruised for the first time for a wedding anniversary a few years later. My parents had never holidayed abroad, although Dad had served his country in WW11 overseas. A failed golden wedding party with the family and grandson was the inspiration for our first family cruise – Mum, Dad, Son, Daughter-in-law and grandschild. Ages ranged from 3 to 84. After two weeks of “the best holiday ever” we cruised together annually for nine years, by which time there was another grandchild aged 7 and Dad aged 92. Very sadly, Dad who had enjoyed excellent health all of his life, passed away suddenly a few weeks after we returned from one cruise and shortly before a “return” cruise – our first time of planning two cruises in one year. With Mum, we reluctatntly decided to continue – we felt it would have been Dad’s wish. We missed Dad terribly, but that cruise was also a healer allowing all of us time and memories to come to terms with our great loss. We have since continued to cruiise with Mum, now in her 90s. The memories we have from those family cruises, and the memories our children have of cruising with their grandparents are priceless. We are so, so glad we cruised as a family and will continue to cruise all the time that Mum is able to do so. We miss Dad greatly, but have such precious memories and so many of truly great family holidays – cruises, company and companionship which he and we so enjoyed and now treasure.
What an exceptional story, Carol. It behooves us to take one day at a time and to enjoy each day to its fullest. Our entire family was bit by the “cruise bug” quite a few years ago. Our oldest son will be turning 50 soon, and his dream is to have the entire family go on a mediterranian cruise– and we have just booked a cruise for next year and have to mark off the days until sailing date arrives. Memories are something no one can take away.
What a sweet sweet story,it made me cry.
Carol, you made me cry .. he was a fabulous uncle, My dad loved having on-air with him and the stories he would tell. And I am going to be nicer to my father …:)
Jill – yes, please be nicer to my cousin and your father, although I think you are a wonderful daughter! While we have them we can always show them how much we love them!
Carol, although I know your story and how much you adored your dad and love your family, I had to respond to the beautiful letter you wrote. I share the feelings so many others expressed about it and want you to know that even though we lived through it, I was once again moved to tears by the love and joy you take from your family and friends and the excitment in planning the many cruises that are so much a part of your life.
Thanks Jo, I know you understand it all. What a special joy this was to have this small part of my Dad’s story told. He would be bursting with pride! Actually I am sure he is.
Thanks for sharing your wonderful story. This really makes me feel good that I am taking my mom (who is in her 80s) and with my sister’s family (8 of us) on a Princess Cruise next week and just enjoy the family get together time when she is still able to enjoy the cruising experience. This will be her first cruise and I am sure she gonna have the best vacation of her life.
Thank you so much for sharing your touching family story! I believe that your Dad was with you on every minute of that cruise. I lost my Dad 12 years ago. Although we took many family trips when I was young I never traveled with my Dad as an adult. That taught me a great lesson. My Mom will turn 85 this August. In October, God willing, we will take our 6th Princess cruise together. I cherish all the memories from all of the cruises that my Mom and I have shared. There is no better gift!!
Your story was beautiful Carol. I could feel all the love that you had for Dad. He must
be smiling down when he sees what good care you’re taking care of his bride. It makes a person think that life is not forever and you must enjoy the healthy years with each other.We have spent four cruises together with the entire family (about 26) and have some wonderful
memories.
My husband passed away 4 1/2 years ago at a time when we were finally beginning to make plans for ” us” to take vacations together. The 2 kids were almost out of college, the house was almost paid for, the job situation was looking good, things that we had put off for them were going to become a trip for us. Then at age 56 he was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer and passed in 3 months. It has been a rough few years as I find my new life alone. But this year, May 26, I went on the Alaskan cruise meant for Steve and me with my daughter on Sapphire Princess. I too felt him with me at every adventure. I know he would have LOVED this trip but I made it with Lisa and what a different memory I made with our daughter. So glad I was finally able to cruise Alaska. Keep going– it does get too late someday if you don’t. Judy
Hi Carol, such a beautiful story you shared…. Yes your Father was with you in spirit all right… He comes thru on favourite songs, could even be favourite TV shows, thru people, many loving ways, just keeps eyes and ears open. He is always around you and your beautiful family. Try meditating too, he will send you a nice loving message….
All my best, … Michael from Toronto, Canada.
Carol, thanks for sharing your story. It brought tears to my eyes as I just lost my wonderful father 2 months ago. I was born in England but immigrated to Canada when i was 5 and my dad had always wanted me to go back to see where I came from. I was trying to arrange this trip when he was diagnosed with cancer so we had to abandon those plans with the hope of renewing them when dad got better. Unfortunately, it wasn’t meant to be but I am now planning to go alone next year to take his ashes back and cruise around the British Isles. I think he would have liked that as I’m sure your dad would have loved you going ahead with your cruise. Cherish the memories.
Carol,
Thank you for sharing this story. I am comment #30, and I’ll bet you get many more. Your Dad is, I am certain, very pleased that you went on the cruise and he was with you without question. Have no regrets that you waited….we all do….that you went despite your loss had to have truly impressed your Dad! I have had two personal disasters during my lifetime….I don’t wait anymore and I am planning my 7th cruise!
Carol – what a wonderful story, sad and tearful yet beautiful…….our time is short so enjoy every moment. You just inspired me to take my entire family on a cruise for Christmas! I live in AZ and they live in WA and CA and we all miss each other every minute we are apart……..So this will be a Christmas to remember, all of us together! I have been on 50+ cruises and they have never been on one! Thanx, plans are in the works as we speak!
We were married on a cruise ship – one of the first before it became all the rage!! 18 years later one month & 1/2 b4 his death @ the age of 43 we took our best cruise ever on the grand princess along with our small daughters. AstonishIngly he seemed to hv more energy then the rest of us!! He climbed those mountains in turkey like a mountain goat!!
We don’t cruise as much as we used to 4 fairly obvious reasons. The girls are college aged & beyond & I never remarried. There hv been some fine ones though. I still remember when I was 17 & took a cruise from NYC to Italy, then Italy to the middle east. My mom worked as an rn on cruise ships to Europe. It seems cruising is still our favorite vacation & very much in the blood of my family!!
Carol,
Please don’t be ‘cruel’ to have me crying immediately on seeing what you wrote:
“Then, six weeks before the cruise, on March 31, my father died,” making me very emotional.
I am very proud of your courage and determination to assemble a family outing on board the Caribbean Princess. A lot of people would have canceled the trip altogether! Situation is changing so fast that’s beyond our control; live every day to the fullest is the best strategy.
Surely no doubt, your Dad’s presence was always with the family, especially when the song “I’ll be see you” was playing. Your family really had a great time on board.
All the best ….. Kam from Richmond Hill, ON, Canada
Carol,
As I read your story, my tears were falling. My husband and I enjoy cruising very much. We’ve been on 17 cruises; 12 of which were on Princess. In November 2008, my husband was diagnosed with Stage IV lung cancer. He has undergone 3 1/2 years of chemotherapy. The emotional scars from my husband’s illness will never heal. As I write this, the doctor’s have discontinued chemotherapy and my husband is currently receiving hospice care. Each day I see him becoming weaker and weaker but yet I would give everything I own to be able to enjoy one more cruise with him. Just yesterday I printed a picture of us from a cruise we took together to the Mediterranian in 2007. Carol, I’m so glad you took that cruise in honor of your dad, and I do believe he was with you and your family. God Bless you and keep your faith. To everyone, you look at life very differently when a serious illness becomes part of your life. Live each day as if there is no tomorrow. You will have the joy of experiencing life in a very different way. Cherish every moment.
Thanks for the story Carol, it reminded me of my situation in many ways. My wife and I as well as my parents have cruised a fair bit but only all together once. It was back to back Caribbean cruises in 2006 also on the Caribbean Princess. Besides my parents, my wife and I took our two teenage daughters along. We all had a great time and Dad frequently talked about doing another cruise together.
We organized a Mexican Riviera cruise back to back with a 7 day reposition home to Vancouver in 2010 for my wife’s parents, my parents and ourselves but in the end we couldn’t talk Mom into doing it so they stayed home. On the second to last day of the cruise, while in Seattle we phoned home and Dad told me he had talked Mom into doing one more cruise together and they were arranging a Panama Canal trip for themselves, my sister and her husband and my wife and I to go on a few months later.
Then Dad was diagnosed with cancer before the trip and they couldn’t go so there was just the four of us on the Island Princess. Dad died about 6 months later leaving the 2006 Caribbean Cruise as the only one we all took together. We hope to convince Mom to do at least one more cruise with us “for Dad”.
Dearest Carol~
Although I’m honored to be a part of your life as a close friend and neighbor, I didn’t know this story until now. When your dad passed away we were just getting to know each other. If Bernie was anything like my dad (and I’m sure he was), I understand the closeness and depth of feeling you carry around in your heart. Afterall, is it any wonder that I refer to Bea lovingly as “Big Momma?” Unfortunately, I never had the opportunity to cruise with my dad or my mom for that matter and, after reading your heartrending story through eyes misted with tears, you’ve made me wish I could turn the clock back…..but that will never be. We’ve cruised together numerous times now (I finally made Platinum, you know) and I’ve enjoyed every moment spent with you and Dovy. The next one in December will be seen in a different light and just know that I treasure you both as well as your friendship.
Your story made me cry. Very beautiful your dad was definitely with you!
Carol,,I can not begin to THANK YOU enough for posting your story!!! I have a similar one, and I was having mixed feelings until I read your post. My husband died suddenly in Feb. He had purchased a cruise to Alaska for our 30 wedding anniv. We were taking our adult children. I have just recently found out all that he had planned for our very special family vacation. A few weeks after he passed away, I told the kids I just did not think I could go..but it is thru their encouragement, that I decided to go ahead with his plans. Can not tell you how many times Ive gone back and forth with this,,,until your story came to me. We are going for 12 days,,,,honoring him all the way. Again, thank you….
Absolutely you did the right thing by going.You honored his memory.
My father in law, Bob Vaughn, 32 yr Navy vet, introduced us to cruising. He convinced us to go on a scheduled trip in Nov 2010, while he was hospitalized, saying he’d wished he could go with us. Sadly he took a sudden turn and died our third evening on board. We had to get our of our cabin, be among people, so we went to one of the quiet piano bars on the Ruby Princess, only to hear HIS favorite song, being sung by one of the lovely young Princess hostesses. Robin knew her Dad was watching…
That cruise ended early for us but we are going on another, soon, because Dad would have wanted us to.
I so agrue with you on the family cruise. My Dad died 19 years ago and my Mom died five years ago, so after everything was settled, house sold etc, I took our family of ten on a Alaska Cruise, great time for all. We knew the family would enjoy it, my wife and I have done over 21 cruises etc. It was a cruise to remember their grand parents, and we sure enjoyed every day of the cruise.